You had me at "An Advanced State of Decomposition."

Did you really need to thrown in the following:

"The moment I saw my brother's body, I realized that he was severely tortured before he died," Paquito said in Filipino. He decided to seal the coffin for fear his relatives "might not be able to take what they see."

Or take what they smell! However this kind of post-mortum overkill is a dead giveaway. Was there really a body in that casket, or 180lbs of stones, and is Armonda off on a working vacation with somebody else's credit cards?

And we're catching on to the name game too. So sing along with me--

I'm  Paquito Bayona and I've come to say
I am the best Bayona in the world today






June 19, 2001, Inquirer News Service, Angry Palaweños bury Abu Sayyaf victims, by Geraldford P. Ticke and Jofelle Tesorio, [Posted: 11:10 PM (Manila Time) | June 9, 2001]

PUERTO PRINCESA CITY -- The two Dos Palmas resort employees who were abducted and killed by Abu Sayyaf extremists were laid to rest at 2 p.m. Saturday at the city cemetery here.

The skies were gloomy and rain threatened to fall as Sonny Daquer, a cook at the Palawan resort, and Armando Bayona, a security guard, were conveyed to their final resting place.

Because of the bodies' advanced state of decomposition, the coffins were tightly sealed and wrapped in plastic sheets. Both families decided to bury Daquer and Bayona together.

"Since both of them were abducted and killed at the same time by the Abu Sayyaf, we feel that it's better for their bodies to be buried at the same time," said Paquito Bayona, the brother of Armand.

Angry Puerto Princesa City residents had been waiting for days for the arrival of their two native sons, the first casualties from the group of 20 hostages abducted during a dawn raid by Abu Sayyaf bandits on the Dos Palmas resort on May 27.

Their arrival on Thursday had been much delayed by the unavailability of Air Force aircraft.

The Department of Social Welfare and Development made it possible for the remains of the two to be flown by commercial airliner from Zamboanga to Manila and here.

Placards expressing Palawanons' grief and anger were displayed at the airport and at the wake of the victims.

"Happy Birthday, Sonny. We miss you."

These were the words that greeted the coffin of Daquer when it arrived home in Libis, Barangay San Pedro, on Thursday. Daquer would have celebrated his 29th birthday last June 6.

His wife Jovelyn, who is six months pregnant with their third child, was in shock. The Dos Palmas Resort has promised Jovelyn a job after she gives birth.

The bodies of Daquer and Bayona were found on June 3 by government troops in Basilan, where the Abu Sayyaf had brought the Dos Palmas hostages.

Bayona had been beheaded and tortured, his body bearing multiple hack wounds.

"The moment I saw my brother's body, I realized that he was severely tortured before he died," Paquito said in Filipino. He decided to seal the coffin for fear his relatives "might not be able to take what they see."